Motherhood is a non stop job. Literally non stop. From the minute you see that second pink line appear, it’s not just about you anymore. And here’s the bittersweet thing: that love and concern grows with each and every day. But what about the love and concern for that amazing woman who existed before the baby. What about YOU? Are you giving yourself the love and concern that you deserve? Here’s the thing. For the longest time, I wasn’t. And it was making me into an absolute miserable mom, wife, and overall person. So I’m here to remind you to put yourself into a much needed time out.
Photo Credit: Abigail Joyce Photography
Why do you need a time out? Because being a mom is HARD. It is the most selfless job out there….and to be honest, your boss can be quite the moody tyrant (even if he or she is adorable). And if you don’t take any time for yourself to address your wants and needs, you aren’t going to be a good mom, wife, or friend.
Take it from me. The past three months have been particularly trying for me, which is really hard for me to admit to all of you (hello to the thousands of you fabulous readers!). The societal pressure of the holidays on top of my kids and I continuously getting sick, the stress of running my own business with little to no child care, and my husband being away a lot for work and other commitments left me run down and oh so crabby. I actually kept track one day and realized that I only spoke to three adults in one day (does the Starbucks barista count???). Needless to say, life wasn’t going so great.
How did I climb out of this hole? By posting a question on a Facebook mom group (hi, fellow Mama Tribers!) about how to recharge my battery and not feel so bitter about my husband who takes a weekly night away to play soccer with the guys, something that he loves and most definitely recharges his battery (It leaves him with some bruises too. We are getting old, after all.)
Almost immediately a few friends texted to check in on me since I am always the one giving advice, not the one asking for it. It seems that as a blogger with a picture perfect Instagram feed, I seem to have my stuff together. Spoiler alert: I do not. Over 50 different moms responded with activities and suggestions that worked for them, as well as applauded me for voicing the same exact issue that they were struggling with. It was so wonderful to feel so accepted and like I was no longer, as my friend the GIT Mom tends to refer to it, on “Mommy Island.”
So here are some things that have worked not only for me, but also for my fellow moms in dire need of a time out. The list might seem kind of random, but that’s the thing. You have to find what works for YOU. Are you one who really wants to escape the confines of your house or would you rather just have the house quiet and all to yourself for one? I hope that you find something that works for you, or at least inspires you to remember to take some time for yourself. You deserve it, sweet mama.
TIME OUT IDEAS
Join a book club
Go out to dinner with mom friends
Get outside to simply walk and enjoy nature
Schedule a date night with your partner
Get your Namaste on at yoga class
Take a bath—no rubber duckies allowed!
Break open an adult coloring book
Create a list of books/movies/etc. that you’ve always wanted to read/watch/etc. and start working away at it.
Enjoy an entire cup of coffee to yourself at a favorite cafe
Join a gym or training program
Take a class that inspires you—crafting, creating, etc.
Go out to eat by yourself
Binge watch a TV show
Sign up for a cooking class
Explore a new neighborhood/restaurant/store/etc.